Luis (testimony series final)

Luis:

    

     I never received an education, or parental love.  My life was filled with confusion.  I was filled with bitterness and sadness.  A life filled with drug addiction and alcoholism.    One day God spoke to me through an individual and told me to rise up from that place in which I was because I did not deserve to be there.  It was then that they told me about the lord and that through the word of God I could restore my life.  I am so grateful because since then I’ve come to know the Lord I am a new person.  I have learned to live life in a different manner.  God has shown me so much love and mercy and truly become someone special in my life.  Every day I ask that he give me strength to keep going forward because I am now starting to learn how to enjoy living life in a correct manner.  And now I am free to worship and glorify the lord.  Thank you God!

     Luis has been making a lot of progress here in the ministry.  He has most recently been delivered from constant nightmares that have been plaguing him for years.  He hopes to be in touch with his family soon for the first time in almost as long as he can remember.  He also expresses an interest in staying at Hogar de la Roca after he completes his recovery to actively help others who struggle with the same facets of life as himself.  With God's help and Grace it will be done, one step at a time.    

Wili (testimony series)

Willie:

     

      My life on the street began at age 11.  I can honestly say my mother never wanted or loved me and because of that I loved the streets.  I started to run with a gang at that young age where I would dedicate myself to stealing, consuming drugs, and living the nightlife in discos.  I always felt that my gift  was being  a great “stick up kid.”  I could go into any store and walk out with money.  I have shot and killed people while in this life-style.  My luck ran out at age 18.  I was shot by a security guard with a shotgun in the back.   As a result I was a para­­-palegic for  one year of my life.  They told me I would never walk again but after intense therapy and a determination of will I was able to walk with a limp.  As another lasting consequence I will never again be able to control my urine and I have to wear a plastic bag on my leg to collect it.  I’ve been imprisoned 14 times in my life.  

     One day while living in Anitgua a missionary spoke to me about the redeeming power of Christ and Hogar de la Roca.  Today I am working hard and have a strong desire to change and restore my life.  I am speaking differently, and cleaner, my mind is different and now instead of stealing I am thinking of how to serve God.  “He who steals let him steal no more.”  If you speak to the Lord with faith He can do a miracle.  It is out of gratitude for the way He is changing me that I promised the Lord after receiving Christ I will serve him till the day I die.  

      Shortly after his first arrival here at the ministry Willie was asked to leave for the use of illicit drugs within the house.  He was told he could return and start over after two weeks.  He came back to us the first chance he could and is grateful to have another opportunity to get his life in order.  Coming back so quickly shows that there is indeed a strong desire for stucture and change in what has been a chaotic life so far.  Considering his colorful past and his young age Willie truly is a miracle.

Charlie (testimony series)

     With my remaining time here at Hogar De La Roca swiftly coming to an end I thought it would be good to take a break from my thoughts and let the house speak for itself a bit.  In this short series we will be looking at a few of the men who are living here at the ministry and allow them the opportunity to share their story and where they believe God is taking them.  This will be in their own words and the only editing will be in the translation from Spanish to English.



Charlie:
                

      " I grew up without parents and without knowing what a mother's hug means.  But the orphanage where I did grow up was really wonderful and they took care of all my physical needs.  But I had a lot of emotional problems.  It was hard for me to love somebody..."share love".  It was especially hard for me to talk to girls.  There was a big whole in  my heart that couldn't be filled.  And like a coward I began to hide in drugs and alcohol or any substance that could take me out of my reality.  I ended up living in a garbage dump for many years completley alone.  My dining room was the garbage place, my living room the sidewalks, and my bed-room the parks.  What I drank most of all in these times were little bottles of pure rubbing alcohol because they were the only things i could afford and they worked the strongest.

     Yes the Lord tried to talk to me many times by sending people to help me but I had a stone heart.  I couldn't trust anyone.  Finally I decided to give myself and others a chance by trying the place called "Hogar de la Roca."  In this place the Lord Himself talks to me even though I don't deserve it.  And When I say He talks to me I mean he does it directly!  The Lord also talks to me through the people he has placed here with me.  He is changing me and it is hard and it hurts too much but it is for my own good.  For example, this story I wrote is just one thing He is changing in me because now I can say that i can share love."

      Charlie left us once when he was only about half-way through our year long program.  He returned to the garbage dumps of Antigua and almost died twice from alcohol poisoning as he was rushed to the hospital by ambulance.  By the grace of God Charlie has returned to us and is almost half-way through the process again.  Charlie has a lot of hard work ahead of him but with our prayers and God's grace the sky is the limit for this very special individual.
   

"Reborn into Water and Fire"

Baptism in Lake Attitlan

Reborn in water:  I was first baptised as a little baby at St. Augustine's Church in Hartford CT.  I obviously can't recall the event to memory yet i possess a picture which tells the story well enough.  I am in my mother's arms. As she holds me she is quite beautiful in her youthful appearance with long wavy brunette curls that fall on her shoulders which are supporting a striking blue floral pattern dress covering the contours of her then slender body.  To our left dutifully stands the "god parents."  I believe their names are Dave and Karen Hodge although i am not entirely certain. The photo i am describing was taken in the 80's yet Dave and Karen's attire would lead you to believe we were not only in fact still very much in the previous decade, but there with confidence and in the heights of timely fashion.  My godfather had so much hair from the shoulders up that even with a photo to reference i still really have no idea what he looks like or if he is still living today for that matter. The three of them have a look as if they are all really "getting a kick" out of their church experience as it is clearly understood that the rather rigid and ceremonial environment at St. Augustine's was not their usual haunt.  I of course managed to maintain the cliche of the crying baptized baby who was infuriated by the unexpected water and appear to have screamed my little head and face off till it was candy apple red.

 

      The biggest difference between my first and second baptism was that i consciously chose my second and had a clear understanding and purpose for what i was doing.  I should make it clear that i hold no ill thoughts towards my baby baptism...although it was in regard to my well-being unnecessary.  Many people believe that a baby baptism in the catholic church is a sort of "fire insurance."  That sacrament is a necessary step towards the salvation of the tiny soul.  Yet, the baby has no idea what's happening to her and I think every reader of this blog can agree that no baby's soul is ever in any kind of danger.   My study of scripture has revealed that Baptism has nothing to do with the salvation of your soul in a direct manner.  It is merely a public expression to yourself and others that the decision of your faith is real and permanent.  It is a dying to your old self and a tangible expression of your new life in Christ.  So as Christ is my example and was baptized, so too i was baptized.  By doing so i agree to continue to follow His example and His teachings and strive towards the practices of  love, forgiveness, and selflessness.  This form of scripturally sound baptism can only take place at an age where you understand what you are doing.  This doesn't however mean that i will suddenly be able to conduct myself perfectly all the time.  In fact i want to share that lately things have been even more difficult.

 

Reborn in Fire:

     Readers of "Revelation and Response" have noted there has been a very large gap in time since my last post.  There have been many reasons for this.  I have wrestled with myself over the past couple months and have decided to share some of those reasons with you now.  This blog was always intended to have an encouraging theme.  Yet it also needs to remain real and true without watering down the experiences of it's author or others involved.  The truth is that part of the reason i haven't been blogging is for technical reasons, computer  problems etc. I have also been incredibly busy in my daily work here.  Although it's noted i haven't been sharing as much rest assured; we have a full house here at Hogar de la Roca where lives are changing daily.  We also remain very active helping other ministries, building an orphanage, and helping the hurting from the mountains to the near city streets.  But the real truth and what's really kept me from writing is that I myself have been hurting.

Feeding the Hungry in the remote mountains of Escipulas

     Although i have been pushing forward with the work i was called to it has been increasingly more difficult.  In fact since the brief days directly  following my baptism i have been undergoing an entire battery of spiritual, physical, emotional, and financial tests.  The first and most critical problem has been my health as of late.  I will randomly start experiencing crippling bone and joint pain all over my body that comes and goes sometimes lasting for weeks.  This will be accompanied at times by such extreme fatigue that i can barely get out bed.  Fever symptoms have come and gone and maybe the scariest part is that i occasionally lose my vision in one or both eyes for minutes at a time.

     Countless hours and dollars have been spent at the hospitals down here but between the language barrier, the complicated symptoms, and the inherent disadvantages in the medical communtity of a developing country, i have yet to receive a diagnosis.  I have been taking 90 days of antibiotics in case it is Lymes disease which is impossible to test for here because it doesn't exist here.  I also have a medical referral to visit a specialist in Rheumatoid arthritis as it runs in my family but it is very expensive to go and often inconclusive.  Also, my close friend Dustin passed away at age 24.  I  spent my months before coming to Guate developing a close friendship with him and teaching him to play guitar  Yet i received news his poor mother who is also a friend  found him suddenly dead in his bed.  Dustin's effect on me could have easily been a blog post in itself.  On the same day i heard this news i went to the gym to run and found that my brand new running shoes from the states that i waited six months to get were stolen from my locker leaving me sneakerless.  Not too long after my wallet went missing with all my cash, license, bank cards etc.  Additionally there were promises that i believed with all my heart to receive from God which suddenly seemed snatched away.  These are promises i was basing my entire future around and i still haven't been able to get a clear answer as to what is going on in that area.. Moreover, my family and other close friends have been under attack on every single side in ways too personal and sensitive to mention here, yet devastating to watch helplessly from thousands of miles away.  All this and much more has happened since the day of my baptism along with many long hours and nights to dwell and be tested while being tied to a ministry 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  This has left me too tired and uninspired at the end of each day to maintain my blog duties for fear of sounding to bleak.  Although I am beginning to see the lesson that the great teacher has in mind for me.

     " So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold." 1st Peter 1: 6-7
     The typical view of Christian life is that it means being delivered from all adversity.  But it actually means being delivered into and through adversity which is something very different.  Often times Christianity is "sold" to others as a sort of magical wand and cure-all for all of life's woes.  Yet this is not an accurate portrayal of the life of a Christian on earth.  "God does not give us overcoming life; He gives us life as we overcome.  The strain of life is essential because it builds our strength." (Oswald Chambers)  This strain serves the same purpose as  the weights of a bodybuilder.  How would his or her muscles ever grow if they didn't use heavy weights for resistance?  I have spent a lot of time asking God to remove obstacles from my life.  But i believe now that these very obstacles are the tools to achieve my future purpose and  joy.  How can we appreciate the mountain-top experiences if we spend no time in the valley?  Admittedly i believe this valley experience came too close to my previous one and i have spent a lot of time angry and confused. And for the first time in almost two years I was tempted many times and in many ways to resort to old methods of comforting myself because it felt in moments of desperation like God had forgotten me.  Now, it is for certain that these "valley times" are excellent grounds for families and close friends to lean on and support one another in whatever manner they are able to provide.  They are opportunities for those hurting, and those in a position to help, to show the world what love looks like in times of adversity. And most importantly on a personal level as the verse above suggests these tests and trials have proved to me that no matter what happens i still love God more than ever and just want more of Him.  And not just for what He can give me.  I think a healthy body is an example of a  condition i placed on God as a prerequisite to me serving Him.  Now i know that in sickness and health, poverty or wealth, whatever life circumstance i may find myself in....I JUST WANT MORE GOD.  I am still fighting for sure and  even as I type this I am aware of the pain in my body and the joints of my fingers. The difference is that now as opposed to before I am fighting the good fight, and only in my weakness can His strength be made completely visible and perfect.  
     If you too are in a valley i encourage you to turn and face the strain for God will not leave us here forever.  It is for a purpose and a greater plan bigger than we can understand in this moment.  And yet,  in just a little while we will look down from the heights of a fresh and high mountain and remember our struggle as we look upon it with newly opened eyes.  It is in that moment we will understand why we had to spend our time in the valley in order to reach this future glory, and we will actually thank and praise the living God for His wisdom, care, mercy, and unyielding plan for our lives and futures.

James 1:2-4 " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

 

"Outreach Atitlan"

 

      Considered one of the seven wonders of the world by Guatemalans, "Lake Atitlan" presents herself impressively as you wind down the nearly ninety degree roads which boast a beautiful view of an enormous lake the color of jade surrounded by volcanoes and mountains.  They say the lake is so deep that no one has yet successfully assessed her depth.  The rich and enchanting scenery truly pulls you into a world completley within itself and it's beauty is matched only by the wonderful people who live here.  It was for these people that God brought together a small yet powerful group of like-minded American and Guatemalan missionaries to lead an evangelistic crusade full of music, prayer, God's written and spoken promises, and hard work.

 

     "Panajachel" is the largest and most popular community surrounding the lake and it was here that the mission team based itself.  It is an ecclectic mix in town and in addition to the large number of local residents Pana maintains itself by catering to tourists and party-goers. Integrated into some of the most rural and modest housing and schools you will find modern bars, restruants, coffee houses etc., catering to predominatley American and European visitors.  The team quickly discovered that in spite of some conrtasts contained within the town there was a uniform need for God and a message of hope as poverty, sickness, injury and disability, as well as demon posession were all prevalent in Panajachel and the other communities surrounding the massive lake.  It was for these people that we came, and it was these people who found us at our nightly crusades and were hopefully transformed forever in the process.

For five days people from different parts of the world and the the U.S. came and committed themselves to bettering a community in which many of us had never even been too. At the start of each day the focus for the majority of us was to paint the entire "Elim Church" sanctuary and stairways.  Others from the group could be found doing events with large groups of local children and families or attending pastor conferences.  The goal for the painting crew was to have the whole job complete by the Sunday night service that our team would be hosting.

The team worked better, harder, and with more joy and fellowhip than I have ever seen even while working along side paid work crews on construction sites.  There were times when it looked like we just might not finish as techical problems increased and our time-frame decreased. In reality that just meant that everyone worked harder and longer, committed to the vision of a congregation walking into a freshly painted sanctuary to enjoy Sunday after Sunday.

      Chris and myself were encouraged in our specific work throughout the entire experience.  The people we had the honor of working along side of often shared with us how impressed they were with the program and the men from "Hogar de la Roca."  We were always hearing what stand-out dilligent workers our guys are as well as the humble and polite way in which they carry themselves.  One thing Chris stresses with the guys is the importance of giving with a grateful heart by grace, what by grace we have recieved.  Chris and I saw that in action all week and were mutually encouraged by how far our guys have come since joining the program and by the way they shined out on what was for some their first missionary endeavor. 

Panajachel

    The evenings and all day Sunday were reserved for hands on missionary work directly with the people from the community.  In my opinion, whenever possible, any great successful evangelistic outreach should begin with music.  In Jesus' day Jewish people would wash their feet as a symbol of cleansing themselves from all the dirty and distracting things they would pick up in their daily worldly lives that could seperate them from the God they love and desire so much to be near......

"Gold Mountain"

     Music is the most beautiful and effective means I have found to not only invite the spirit of God to be active and ever-present amidst a group of people gathered in his name, but also to purify the hearts, minds, and souls of those in attendance.  Music prepares you to hear not only the word of God...but God Himself.

Doug Eccles and  Jose Alvarez preaching hope in the freshly painted Elim Cathedral!

     Each night directly following the music and a message based on God's written word and promises for His people came an invitation.  The people in attendance were told that in addition to the peace and joy waiting for them beyond this life, there was hope that in this moment they could attain a joy that transcends their circumstances and in essence breaks all the rules.  Many were shy or skeptical about approaching the altar to recieve prayer but many more were not.  I don't have the numbers but within the 5 days there were literally thousands of people who approached altars the missionary teams occupied to receive prayer, healing in their bodies, encouragement, forgiveness, or the ability to forgive others. Also there were those who were tired of walking alone who chose to begin a new life walking with Jesus Christ, and we had the honor of not only witnessing that moment, but to help lead them to that moment and be the first to embrace them as they entered into a new worldwide family of God.

  

     "The Great Commission" is the final work orders Jesus leaves for his followers and can be found towards the end of both the gospels of Matthew and Mark.  "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations and peoples, and preach the good news to everyone....cast out demons in my name...and when you place your hands on the sick, they will be healed."       These instructions are not just for the "super-spiritual" but for anyone who believes.  The disciples took these words from their teacher very seriously and today those twelve men have helped the advancement of this gospel to nearly every end of the earth. 

We met this family by accident in a small remote mountain-top community after taking a boat across the lake to explore on the team's day off.  This wonderful husband and wife are believers in the same gospel as us and were just beginning their long walk through the mountain jungles full of coffee trees to attend church when we happened to cross paths at their door.  With only Christ in common this small group was moved to prayer and tears of joy at our chance meeting.  It is amazing to think that one man and twelve started something two thousand years ago that has spread like wildfire even up to the mountain jungles of lake Atitlan.  Jesus said "go" and people continue to go right through the ages.  The righteous response to seeing a need is meeting a need.  It was difficult for many of the missionaries I had the blessed opportunity to meet and work along side of on this outreach to come and serve on this trip.  Many of them have  families, jobs, and all sorts of responsiblities at home.  Many also had to sacrifice vacation time and a large financial offering just to come and give themselves wholly to a large community of people who in many ways happen to have a little less then them.  However I know that everyone who saw what we saw, felt we what we felt, and experienced God's movement among his people are already praying for the oppurtunity to do it all again. 

"Justin vs. the Volcano"

      "Pacaya" is one of the world's largest currently active volcanoes.  Nestled in the high altitude mountain ranges of San Vincente Guatemala, "Pacaya" dominates the landscape and demands the attention and respect of not only it's annual visitors, but of the combined country as a whole.  This savagely majestic giant doubles as a platform for an awe inspiring adventure for those daring to come close, and a ticking time bomb that promises to go off again and again without warning casting high intensity havoc and destruction across Guatemala in it's near entirety.                                      

 

    .  Shortly before my arrival to Guatemala City "Pacaya" erupted fiercely spreading lava, smoke, and volcanic ash reaching far away from it's lofty home. Here you see the rooftop of "Hogar de La Roca" and the clean up effort to remove the volcanic ash which completely covered us and the entire city. Our ministry is over sixty miles away from volcano "Pacaya" yet we were still affected severely by its eruption.  There were of course deaths and injuries reported by those who were unfortunate enough to be near the volcano during the event.

 

      I visited the volcano alone.  Just getting to the hike site was an adventure in itself involving three buses and hitch-hiking through the first part of the mountain where there are still roads.

Normally I would be TERRIFIED to be in the back of a Guatemalan police truck, but this group was very friendly and a big help in getting me on my way up the mountain.

Before entering the trail leading in I had to check in at the office.  There I was informed that no one was permitted to enter the volcano alone and that I was obligated to hire a guide.  I did not want a guide at all.  I cherish my personal time, sometimes a little bit too much.  The last thing I wanted in that moment was to pay a stranger to walk with me for the next 4 hours or so, forced to make small talk in my broken Spanish all the way up the mountain unable to set my own pace or course.  I actually considered not going inside at all and one of the guides noticed and called me aside.  He told me to tell the lady at the desk I had agreed to the guide and then go ahead in alone.  It was dishonest and in no way proper missionary conduct, yet that is exactly what I did.

It takes about ninety minutes at a steady pace and steep incline through different  forests and gardens to reach the point where the base of the volcano itself is in view.  Being without a guide I was left with split decisions to make as the trails split off into different directions.  I found out later that I chose to travel on paths that had been closed for years.  As the fluorescent green vegetation that contrasted so smartly and sharply with the grey terrain began to dwindle down to twigs, I knew I was closing in on "Pacaya" herself.

Welcome to a weird and wonderful world......volcano country.

  

     Hauntingly serene and deliciously desolate, a scorched earth circus of twisted rocks and rolling hills continue on and on before me...an endless landscape.  I was struck right away by the absolute absence of life in the land of "Pacaya" as well as an encapsulating silence broken only with each step I took as burnt earth broke beneath me.  Before long a steady breeze established itself and made a rippling sound against my wind breaker, coupling with my crunching steps I now had my volcano searching soundtrack, and the only sounds my ears would hear for the next four hours.

Coming up to the volcano base using obscure trails brought me in at strange place. The  entire scene was so completely covered with clouds, fog, steam, and smoke that I had no idea where the volcano actually was.  There were multiple mountains surrounding me and for all I knew any one of them could have been the volcano.

.   

Without knowing where I was going I travelled through the clouds around the entire base of the volcano to the back side which is an extremely dangerous and forbidden area.  I continued exploring and enjoyed the afternoon as time quickly sped by at an almost alarmingly fast pace.

 

     Then came cause for real alarm.  Throughout the day I had become extremely obsessed with the idea of seeing  some actual flowing lava before I had left.  This obsession brought me to the backside of of the volcano and  half way up towards it's peak at least twice.  I found myself scaling a nearly 90 degree angle  volcano, all alone, with no equipment, and completely surrounded by dense fog.  As I got closer and closer to the top the wind grew colder and the sharp jagged rocks grew hotter.  What came next was was total darkness and a heavy rain storm which led me to slip down with a landslide of rocks and sand into a complete abyss of fog, rain, and shadows.  I literally could not see three feet in front of me and I had no idea where I was. What was worse than all that was the fact that it was almost five o'clock. The sun which was already completely hidden by clouds would be going down permanently soon, and I was lost and alone on top of an active volcano with night quickly approaching.

I have to admit that I panicked.  Fear gripped me and I even started running in different directions to try to find the way I had come in.. This was a bad idea because I only got further off course and I slipped and fell.  A broken ankle was the absolute last thing I needed.  So in this moment I prayed.  Nothing eloquent, just "God please help!"

     It was as if I was in a movie because a few desperate minutes after my prayer a strong wind came and blew the clouds and rain away.  I was left in a peaceful awe with my first clear view of where I had been for the last few hours, now under a bright warm setting sun.

 

     As i now walked confidently back to the trails I made out a tiny group of people that were probably a couple miles away.  They were on the tourist trail and were getting ready to leave.  All of the sudden some human company sounded like a terrific idea and i hastened to catch up with them.  There a guide told me that I had come from a forbidden part of the volcano where most deaths and injuries occur.  He also said that since the last eruption most of the volcano had eroded and was now impossible to scale without serious climbing gear, and that too was forbidden. So basically, i had almost died trying to accomplish a humanly impossible task.  After talking and taking this photo I scaled down the mountain in the company of my new friends defeated by "Pacaya" in that I never saw her summit or lava, however alive to fight another day and with a new appreciation and perspective from my experience.

 

     I Learned a lot from my experience at Pacaya.  There is a reason that God demands obedience from His children and it is always for the good of His children.  The Bible says that "The steps of the righteous are ordered."  I had stepped out of bounds when I misled the woman at the volcano office and with a real life metaphor of a storm in solitude, God swiftly reminded me what life is like for me apart form His perfect will.  Though it was only for mere moments, I felt a terror and helplessness on that volcano that I haven't experienced in over a year and a half.  
     I left for the volcano wanting things my way.  I wanted to be alone, yet maybe God had a plan for me to share His grace and love with the guide who was supposed to accompany me.  I wanted too see lava so bad that it drove me to near madness and almost to the point of no return.  The bottom line is that when things become just about what I want, it is hard for God to use me or direct my steps.  Sometimes, the things we want most for ourselves are the very things that will kill us in our pursuit or attainment of such things.  Wanting to see lava is in no way a "sin," yet my need to fulfill that desire almost killed me.  Often times, we think that because we want something so bad that we are meant to have it.  And if we only work hard enough, and sacrifice, and strive towards that goal we will eventually achieve the goal and happiness itself.  I encourage you today to take caution in what you are pursuing.  It may in itself not be a bad thing ,yet breaking down a door that God has intentionally closed to protect us is a most perilous task and wrought with severe consequences.  I implore you to take a moment and contemplate the goals you are pursuing.  Do you know if God has called you to this task?  If so He will bless your endeavors and although there may be struggles, when you run out of strength the wind will be on your back.  If not, you may find yourself on the back-side of a volcano all alone in a dark storm with absolutely no one to call on for help. 
       

"Running with the Horses"

"If you have raced  with mere men on foot and they have worn you out, how then can you race against horses?  If you stumble in safe country how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"  Jeremiah 12: 5

     My first road race ever happened at the age of thirty and it also happened to be an international one.  I was blessed to spend my final hours of 2010, (a year i was more than eager to see pass), running 10 kilometers or 6.33 miles with over 7000 people in in the traditional Guatemala "San Sylvestre" road race.

The entire house along with friends of  "Hogar de la Roca" came to cheer me on.  I decided to run in an Hogar de la Roca  T shirt which I know all the guys appreciated. In the time we had to wait for the starting whistle I was able to share with the guys in our ministry the contrast between the person they see in me today, and the person who started the same program as them in Connecticut about 18 months ago.

I explained, often times with Chris helping me interpret, that i had no  expectations of "winning" the race because in fact in my heart, I had won already.  I shared with them that when i began the same journey they are now on, I was completely sick from drugs, a terrified skeleton who couldn't do 5 push ups, and shell of a man who was running from himself and the police.  And on that day, I was running in an international road race to glorify, thank, and honor God, as well encourage anyone who may be watching and wondering if there is truly hope for people who may have allowed themselves in the past to sink so low.

Please note this photo as it is mentioned in the conclusion.

In reality, the "San Sylvestre" is more of a celebration than a serious road race only for serious runners.  It is a way for 7000 Guatemalans (some in costumes) with many more spectators than that, to go into the new year doing something healthy, positive, and fun.  Often, the pace we set for ourselves in any endeavor early on is the pace we keep. So its always important to tackle any difficult undertaking with a strong and optimistic start.  That being said, in the end, the only thing that people remember and what  truly defines you as an individual is how strong you finish.  I am well aware of this fact so I weigh my own words very carefully when I try to encourage others with my own experiences. I realize, sometimes even with a touch of healthy fear, how long the race may still yet be marked out ahead of me and that I may really only be heading out of the starting gate myself.

     At the risk of sounding cliche`, one reason I really enjoy running is because it is one of the greatest metaphors for life that we have.  This particular race happened on an unusually hot day, there were a couple killer hills, and by my pedometer the race actually clocked out at about 7.3 miles instead of the advertised 6.3.  You can prepare as much as possible, but when things like heat and cramps start attacking your body after what you think is your "final mile sprint" and yet you realize you are still no where near the finish line, your mind starts talking to you about giving up and walking for a while.  But I had told myself and the guys at the beginning that no matter what i would be running the whole time.  I was able to encourage myself and understood that while my body may hurt now it is only for a moment.  I knew that if I just finished the race strong I would feel better in every other moment outside of that temporary one where I really wanted to just give up, even if just for a moment.  Running truly is a great metaphor for life!

In the end, I was able to finish this particular race strong. While there were some athletes who clocked in almost 15 amazing minutes before me, I came in with the first group of runners out of the 7000 and finished the seven or so miles in about 45 minutes.  I had passed the guys from Hogar de la Roca on the way into the Colosseum and they cheered me on.  I then was able to lay down in a little bit of shade and stretch and thank God for all he has done for me in my life, as well as ask him to please keep me " ...running with purpose with every step...disciplining my body like an athlete, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."   1Corinthians 9: 26- 27.

           I think the biggest reason that running so readily associates with life is because simply put, they are both difficult to do well and consistently all the way through till the end.  Yet, that is the life and race that each one of us are called too.  In the book of Jeremiah you hear him crying out to God over the very significant problems and surroundings that eventually drove him past the brinks of depression to cursing the day he was ever born, and this is towards the beginning of his book!  The story of the life of Jeremiah is far to epic to address in any detail on this forum, but let us suffice to say he had valid reasons to be upset with life. Is this true about you?  Are your daily tasks and surroundings slowly starting to overtake you?  Is there a "new year resolution" you have made which is already fading into more of a memory than a resolute promise you committed yourself too?  Is there a project in your house that needs completing or a talent or art you have been neglecting?  Does the reminder of those things bring an uncomfortable feeling of failure or anxiety every time they cross your mind?  Well, we may have legitimate causes and lay legitimate blame upon reasons for not completing what we know we should do, but that does not get them done.  Only doing them does.  God's answer to the legitimate grievances of Jeremiah is the same He gives to ours.
     "If you have raced  with mere men on foot and they have worn you out, how then can you race against horses?  If you stumble in safe country how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"  Jeremiah 12: 5   
     God's response to Jeremiah's call for relief here is basically, "If you think this is bad, how are you going to cope when it gets really tough?"  God's answer to prayer is not always nice or easy to handle.  Anyone who has experienced war, bereavement, or a serious illness can attest to this.  So if ordinary life is overwhelming us how will we cope when we are called to do the extraordinary things we were each created to do?
     Much of it is an adjustment of our perspective.  For instance, the man pictured above racing in his wheelchair has the same condition as the many others who are confined to life in a chair yet chose not to race.  Both are wholly justified in grieving their situation and to not even subject themselves to attending a race where they will be constantly reminded of their condition.  Yet, it is the one whose perspective leads him to the realization that he is indeed race worthy, puts on a fun costume, and hits the road with all he has, he is beginning to compete not just with mere men, but to run with the horses.  Both men have the exact same condition, yet one's perspective leads to the inspiration of many.
     Also, we have to realize that it is not always about us.  Someone is always looking at us to see if we will succeed or fail in even our smallest task.  Whether we are in the role of parents, children, siblings, friends, and in really any  position we may find ourselves, we hold a constant opportunity to lead by example.  It is up to us to break through the mold of being run down by a mundane halfhearted race.  Be one instead that breaks away and runs with the horses with only an occasional and brief backwards glance and an extended hand as an invitation to all watching who may wish to enter the real race with you.

May we all one day say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.  And now the prize awaits me..."  2 Timothy 4: 7